wartortles:

im like horny for 30 hours a day

(via dahmerzombiebitch)

"I cannot stand small talk, because I feel like there’s an elephant standing in the room shitting all over everything and nobody is saying anything. I’m just dying to say, “Hey, do you ever feel like jumping off a bridge?” or “Do you feel an emptiness inside your chest at night that is going to swallow you?” But you can’t say that at a cocktail party."

ugh:

the word ‘moist’ makes me extremely uncomfortable if u could keep it 76000 feet away from me thank